...and then...
I received one of those phone calls that practically stops the heart and once it starts back up...it beats in sadness.
...and I am hurting for my family...
...and I don't understand...
...and I wish more than anything I could be with all of them and simply cry, share in their pain, and support them in whatever way I know how...
But here I sit, thousands of miles away with a heavy heart.
My family is larger than the "average." My memories of moments with them are indescribable. One of the most "unfortunate" things about "growing up" is "growing apart." Not because of anything negative, but because families expand, people uproot...and you just sort of "lose touch." I wish that part of reality never has to happen. But it does.
I could sit down and go through the long list of cousins, and second cousins, and possibly even some third cousins and tell you stories about each and every one of them and how they have each touched my life. I am so thankful to have had this type of family...a family that I can lose touch with over the years, yet still know that I am loved just as much as I was when I was 5, or 15 years old. I truly hope that they have that same reassurance of love, even though I am not as consistent with keeping in touch.
Growing up, I was pretty sheltered from some of the "struggles" that went on within our family. Broken homes, broken hearts, as well as that silent word "depression." Whether I was intentionally sheltered, or it was merely by chance that I didn't recognize some of these things, I don't know. But the phone call I received this morning was more or less a slap in the face with reality...our family wasn't as "perfect" as how I have perceived it. Please don't get me wrong...I will continue to hold on to the happy times...the good times, and there has always been so much love to go around!!!
I'm simply sad that there are dark sides to everything, to everyone...and sad that sometimes, they win. Or do they?
I hope...the deepest part of me hopes, that through this tragedy love can win out. I pray that my family can pull together and let their love shine brighter than it ever has before.
The Bible says that:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ...And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
-1 Corinthians 4-7, 13
I can't even imagine the questions, assumptions, and God forbid, the accusations that may be spoken of in this situation. My prayer for my family, is that no matter what... they let their love shine. That they can take this tragedy and turn it into an opportunity to love on each other, to heal together, as a family, and to forgive one another for whatever it is they may need to. Life is too short and relationships are way too precious.
I know I'm not being too specific here, but God knows and if you could take a moment the next time you pray, to lift them up in prayer. To heal their hurts, to bring them closer as a family, and to let love shine on them in this very dark hour.
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