The Golden Gate Experience

"Don't ever let the grass grow under your feet."

These are the words someone recently spoke to me.
I would have to say that this person knows me all too well!

Of all the things a person can be remembered for, I would feel pretty honored to have others think of me and say, "You know...she was always doing something. She would take her free time and make meaningful moments out of it."

This past weekend was a three day "holiday" weekend, so on Monday I decided that I would take Nick and a friend and head to the coast. I love the coast. I love the beauty of things seen, and unseen. I love the smell of the ocean air and the sound of the waves breaking onto the shore. There's something so serene about it all. Watching seagulls soaring with the direction of the wind. Observing the water as it descends from the shore.

But most of all, my heart dances when I see the joy and freedom of my son as the beach truly brings out his childlike character.

Drake's Beach was a little foggy and cool while we were there, but it didn't hinder my son from taunting the water or jumping the waves.

After an hour or so on the beach, we decided to venture into the city where the fog lingered around the Golden Gate Bridge but no farther.

For the past few years I have had a desire to walk across the Golden Gate so with time to spare, we parked the car and headed for it. I was SO excited!

My heart was racing as the adrenaline rushed through my body and on the inside I felt young again. Fearless. And after 50 or so steps onto the bridge I hear...

"Mom, I don't want to do this. I'm not going to do this!"

I stopped, turned around while saying, "Are you kidding me?!" and then saw the fear in his pale, 13 year old face.

...I will try to reason with him...

"Nick, nothing has ever happened to this bridge. It's safe. The only time something happens is when someone deliberately jumps off committing suicide. It's foggy right now...you can't even see the bottom!"

Nick: "I don't care...I am not going!!!"

***ugh***

What I wanted to do was put him in a headlock and drag him across the bridge. I wanted to point to this sign and say, "oops...Look at that sign, we can't go back." But instead I spoke in a frustrated tone and said, "Ok. I'll do it another time when you aren't with me."

As I was driving to work this morning I was thinking about that experience in comparison to our relationship with God.

We are taught that when God calls, we are supposed to answer.

"Heed the call."

"Pick up your cross and follow me."

"Look after the widows and orphans."

"Help the poor and needy."

"Be an example to others."

Yet how many times do we fail to comply? How many times do we ignore what is stirring in our hearts? How many times do we say, "I'm just not ready." or "This is way out of my comfort zone, give me something else to do."?

Or...as in the words of my son, "I don't want to do this. I'm not going to do this!"

Dare we say such a thing to God? Maybe it doesn't audibly come out of our mouths, but if we're honest with ourselves we should certainly be able to admit to thinking it in our minds.

Poor Nick...his fear was of heights which is a pretty common fear among people. And I am fully aware of the fact that he sensed my frustration and disappointment when we turned around to head back to the car. But I also failed to realize that he was frustrated and disappointed in his own way. I'm sure he felt as if he let me down.

As if those thoughts this morning weren't enough...this next one was:

How does God respond to me when I let him down or when I'm disobedient?

God doesn't think we are a lost cause. He doesn't throw His hands in the air and say, "I'll go find someone else." And God doesn't put us in a headlock and pull us in the direction He intends for us to go. (Although sometimes I think it would be easier!)

He allows us to make U-turns. He loves us. And because He loves us, He waits. He shapes and designs. He works to strengthen us in the meantime and when we're ready...he moves.

I thank God for being who He is and for giving us His unconditional love. For showing me meaning "in" my moments.