Every Mother's Day (with the exception of 2001) it's a "given" that I spend the day with my family. I expect that it would be no different this year. Thus the phone call I received from my dad this week. He called to see what my schedule was going to be like on Sunday, and suggested that we should go on a picnic. Great. This is what we did last year, and it was fun. The boys grilled burgers at a park, we played with nerf guns, football, I took some pictures, and the kids went swimming (in some very muddy water). Then...my dad proceeded to make it very clear to me that he does not want my mom to have to prepare anything, he would pay for the food, and was suggesting that the kids take care of it. Ok...I'm following you. Wait... "What are you suggesting?" I asked him. "Well, you know your mother, if it was up to her, she'd make a casserole and go all out." HA! I was thinking KFC and now my dad's suggesting I cook? I don't know the first thing about preparing a casserole! Not to mention that he seems to forget one small detail...when would I find the time?! I know his intentions are good...but the "ideal" solution would be to grab something already prepared. Oh, and on top of that he threw in a, "By the way, you're going to have to make sure your brother gets moving on Sunday too." ...no pressure, no pressure! I love you dad...but come on!
I sat down with my mom that same night at dinner, not knowing whether I should bring it up or not. Thankfully, she did! And she reaffirmed my feelings by saying, "Why should you have to be responsible for taking care of it all? You're a mom too!" Thank goodness she understands!
My mom is a "hospitality" mom. Not just with her family, but with any get-together, she plans and prepares. I, on the other hand am a "keep it simple" kind of gal. My mom is great at it, and I think it's how she shows other people how much she cares about them. I can cook...using a microwave! I'd love to cook, if I had someone to enjoy it with. My son is a "quick-fix meal" kid. And he's a picky eater, so I don't get the chance to prepare meals very often.
Anyway, after I ate with my mom the other night, I headed to work at the church and was talking to my boss (she's more like a "second" mom) and she shared a story with me. Her mom passed away several years ago, just before Mother's Day. And when Mother's Day came around that year, she looked at her sister and said, "Oh my gosh! What do we do?" Every year it had been about their mother, even though they had children of their own. And then...she was gone. So this got me to thinking. I'm nowhere near ready to imagine what Mother's Day would be like without it being about my mom.
I love being a mom. But I love being a daughter too!
My first Mother's Day actually being a mom, I received a book called, "God's Little Instruction Book for Mom." It's a cute book, but the title is a little misleading in that there are no "real" instructions! I have surrendered to the reality that there is no book to prepare you for parenting, and believe that the best advice that I could ever receive, is from my very own mom.
Aside from it being Mother's Day on Sunday, May 10th would have been my Grandma Bowman's birthday. What an utterly amazing woman she was, and what an incredible legacy she has left behind! (One of my cousins and I often talk about one day writing a book based upon her.) My mom had a very special relationship with my grandma. They share the love of gardening...and me? I think I could kill a silk plant! My mom will spend hours outdoors, pulling weeds and planting flowers. Finally it dawned on me. She must feel closest to her mom when she's doing something that they were both passionate about.
For as big as that side of our family is (and I'm talking BIG), I think it's safe to say that each one of us shared our own special bond with her. Here's some math for you.
She was a mother to:
8 children
8 children
A Grandmother to:
33 Grandchildren
and when she passed away seven years ago:
58 Great-Grandchildren
7 Great-Great Grandchildren!!!
She would always drive me to my piano lessons, let me spend the night whenever I wanted to, always had a stock of snickers and diet Pepsi, her house always smelled like fabric softener, she would sit down and play Kings in the Corner and Canasta with us for hours, and would give us the freedom to explore her house, every corner, without hesitation. I'm sure the woman complained, but never to her grandkids. They were her life. And she was ours. What a respectable woman!
So...as for that little "instruction book?" Here are a few:
"Mother means selfless devotion, limitless sacrifice, and love that passes understanding." Unknown
"A mother is a person who sees that there are only four pieces of pie for five persons and promptly remarks that she's never cared for pie." Unknown
"A mother understands what a child does not say." Jewish Proverb
"A mother's love is patient and forgiving when all others are forsaking, and it never fails or falters, even though the heart is breaking." Helen Steiner Rice
If you get a minute and haven't heard the song, check it out on my (recently added) playlist. It's by Connersvine and the song is called "Hero." Speaks volumes as a child, and a mom.
I'll let you know how Sunday turns out and add a little more on what it's like actually "being" a mom.
1 comment:
That was beautifully said, Angie. Your grandma (and your mom!) sounds like an amazing woman. I have never had a grandparent, but have had many that stood in their place. I think EVERY child needs that kind of adult to look up to, to share with them what previous generations were like, someone who will tell them stories and play games (and let you win!)...someone who can make life feel simple and easy and loving. This is just another reason for why you are as incredible as you are. Thank you for sharing and HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!
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