Navigating Systems

"The Lord says,"I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you."" (Psalm 32:8)

A few months ago I had my very first encounter with a GPS device. I don't own one and I think it's probably a very good thing that I don't!


If you've ever had a battle with a navigational device of any sort then I'm sure you will agree that they rank right up there with Satan! :) Now I am sure that if you use one long enough you get used to it, but the one that was placed on my windshield was temporary and even after a week I was ready to pull it off and toss it out my window! And what I can't figure out is how a law is passed preventing you from holding your cell phone while driving and yet they freely and legally allow these things to be used in your car. Talk about a distraction!


The funny thing is, I heard a news report saying that within the next year or so, they won't even work due to the fact that the satellites in space are decaying and there is currently no money available to use for repairing them. Shucks...


Every now and again I find myself thinking about that little device, how it stressed me out and my resistance to it. After pondering it a few times I discovered that while I am resistant to allowing a GPS system to guide me, I am also hesitant with allowing God to do the same.


A GPS device has one main purpose. To get you from point A to point B. From what I understand they don't necessarily map out the quickest or the safest route, but eventually they get you where you need to be.


And God? Well, His purpose is pretty much the same thing. He has one goal...to get us from point A to point B. Sometimes our journey takes us down roads we'd prefer to avoid altogether. Sometimes the path is dark and gloomy, and sometimes it is full of road construction. Then there are those times when you sit back shaking your head while asking the question, "Are we there yet?!" And many times I find myself getting impatient with God's direction, resist following it, display a little "road rage" and finally decide to take my very own little "detour."


Ultimately, I know where my "point B" is. The "detours" I am referring to are the more personal roads, that I want to take when I think God is taking too long at the red lights and stop signs, or suffering from a "navigational malfunction." ...ever feel this way?


Like...
(God's direction):
"Don't retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it." (1 Peter 3:9)

My "initial" response:

Are you kidding me?! How "fair" is that? Let's just allow someone else to tear us (and sometimes even the ones we love) to shreds, leaving the door wide open for them to insult us all over again! No thanks, I prefer the eye for an eye tactic!

Or...

(God's direction):

"The seed that fell among the thorns represent those who hear God's word,but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life." (Matthew 13:22)

"Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you." (1 Peter 5:7)

"I tell you not to worry about everyday life-whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn't life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. they don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren't you far more valuable than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? ...These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today." (Matthew 6:25-27, 32-34)

My (all too frequent) attitude:

When am I going to find enough time to get everything done that needs to be done? If my brother can't get his portion of the rent money to me, how in the heck am I going to pay the rent? And if I don't have something to worry about, I worry that I'm forgetting something important! And I am convinced I have an ulcer...why not worry about that?!


And one of my "favorites":
"The Lord God said, "It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him."" (Genesis 2:18)

I say:
Well then where is he?! Seriously, I'm 36 years old so where is he?! After all these roads you've taken me down with several encounters yet no "helper?" Next fork in the road I am definitely going with my own sense of direction. This is getting ridiculous!

God says:
""I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."" (Jeremiah 29:11)
My response:
I get the whole plans for good thing. But this future that you mention? Could we speed up that process just a tad?"


Ok, so there's quite a bit of exaggerating in my responses to Scripture. I make these remarks with a smile on my face because I know that I'm not the only one who "thinks" the way I do and as these thoughts leave my mind and find their way onto my blogspot, my heart truly beats in peace...knowing well that God does have a plan for me...He has my journey mapped out completely and when I veer off course it doesn't throw Him off, at all! And while a GPS system can suffer a technical malfunction when the satellites decay and stop working, God remains. When we take what we believe to be the smoothest, fastest, more "sensible" route He quietly sits beside us in the passenger seat refusing to play the role of a "backseat driver" yet always being the first to step up and repair a flat tire that we may get along the way. He's right there when we pull into a rest area and surrender our weariness, our stubbornness, and our brokenness. He just...waits.

...unlike the voice on my friend's navigator that demands you take the next exit, or make a U-turn at the next intersection.

Slowing Down

So I was driving to work the other day and I saw this license plate that said, "SLW DWN" and I had to chuckle. At that particular moment my mind was racing a mile a minute. Life had me exceeding the speed limit and so it was a subtle reminder that I needed to take a moment and "breathe," to ease up on the accelerator of my thoughts and simply go on "cruise control."

It lasted a brief moment!

Nick had the opportunity to attend "Houseboat Camp" this week with the youth group at church. And it took me a day for him to be gone to realize how much I miss him, what a HUGE part of my life he is, and how I would be lost without having him in my life.

I guess it's "different" to be away from someone you love so much, knowing they are with family than it is knowing he's away without any family. I don't know. He was gone for a week last year with his 5th grade class and I didn't worry too much about him. This week, I have been missing him like crazy and wishing that he was home...with me.

There was one day while he was gone that I had this overwhelming sense of paranoia. And for about a solid hour I was reeling with thoughts of something happening to him while he was gone. It was terrible. All I kept thinking about was what my life would be like without him in it. I sat at my desk at work and almost wept, as if something had already happened to him. The whole mental process was, well...almost twisted and so I focused on prayer, asking God to protect him while he was away, to calm any anxiety that he may be going through, and to remove this anxiety that I was going through. Finally it had passed and all I wanted was to hear Nick's voice and hug him. ...I still had three more days to go!

My mom had called me the last day of camp and assumed that I had been enjoying my time alone while Nick was gone because she hadn't heard from me. No...I really hadn't "enjoyed" the time, but I knew that I needed to go through this week in order to see a much bigger picture. I needed to sit back and take a long hard look at the meaning of "time."

In "Life's Questions with Answers From the Bible" it says this:

"Time is a lot like battery energy-we rarely know how much is left until it's gone. Unlike batteries, we cannot buy more or borrow more from someone else. That's why time is so valuable to us, and yet we often live as though it means so little. All of us would admit we waste far too much time in doing things that aren't important or significant. We know we should be more purposeful about how we spend our time, but we're often unsure just what that is."

I don't think I've ever been so anxious to see my little boy, to hug him, and to just hang out. And when he finally got home, we did just that! I looked at him...and it was as though he had matured five years. He walked different, he spoke differently, and he claims he even grew taller while he was away! :)

In just a few days of being back, he's already resumed his video game position...his "attitude" is slowly coming back, but that's ok...I will not be complaining for a while. For the moment I am perfectly content with simply knowing he's here. With me!

Needs

I had the t.v. on this morning while I was getting ready for work (as I always do) and they were talking about this new iPhone that Apple released today...

First of all, I LOVE CW31. It is the only news I will watch...because it's not so depressing all the time. They touch on the headlines, and then it's pure comedy!

But this new iPhone....didn't Apple just release the iPhone like...a year or so ago? They already have to make something "new" and "more improved?" I am so old school...how do you "improve" a cell phone? You dial a number, you talk, and you hang up. ??? So you have texting as a feature...aren't the letters on an "improved" phone the same as they are on a regular phone? (I'll be here all week...)

Anyway, they were interviewing people that had been waiting in line for hours...just to get this phone. There was this guy that said something like, "It's new. I don't need it, but I have to have any new technology that comes out."

WHAAAAT?!

I think I literally spit toothpaste out of my mouth when he said that....and then I thought, "Now that may be a great thing to blog about!"

I am not totally ignorant. I briefly checked this phone out...and yes, it looks nice.

The issue I'm having trouble with was this guy's comment. I've heard comments like that before..."I don't need it, but it's new so I have to have it." ...trust me. I have family members that live by this philosophy. My question is why? Really...why?!

Well...it just so happens that this was something I have been working through in my "why" questions! (See...God helped me a little today by giving me a clue in where to start!)

I've been reading this book, "Life's Questions with Answers From the Bible" and one of the words it talks about is the word "need."

"All humans have basic needs that must be met in order to survive: food, water, shelter, and love. Needs are different than "wants" in that when our needs are met, we can be content and satisfied. Wants, even when fulfilled, can often leave us unsatisfied, discontent, and desiring more. Wants are not always negative but when they oppose God's desires they can become fuel for the fires of jealousy, covetousness, deceit, materialism, or other sins that result when we become obsessed with getting what we want. Our needs can often allow God to show his power and provision through us and teach us that God is sufficient. Learning to recognize the difference between needs and wants allows us to find contentment in living by God's sustaining power and provision."

Hmmm....

FYI...my son (who has no idea I am blogging about this) just asked me if he can get the env2 phone when our contract expires...(we have Verizon!)

Why do we become obsessed with such things?

I remember what it was like at that age. It wasn't about cell phones or ipods...but we had an Atari, and a record player...and a TRS80 computer (for those of you who don't know what that is, it was basically a keyboard and a monitor...we literally had to type in the program in order to "create" a game....seriously! (I wish we still had it!)) I had barbie dolls and my brothers had GI Joe. When I was going into junior high, the Coca Cola shirts were big...and I was fortunate to own a few...the fads weren't cell phones, they were friendship beads and bracelets. We passed notebooks back and forth in school...between friends. It's amazing where 23 years can take you!

But what about the basics?

[The Lord] said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others. 2 Corinthians 9:8

"You must learn to distinguish the difference between wants and needs.When you understand what you truly need and see how God provides, you will realize how much he truly cares for you. God doesn't promise to give you a lot of possessions, but he does promise to help you possess the character traits that reflect his nature so that you can accomplish his plan for you."

I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. Philippians 4:11-12

Don't love money; be satisfied with what you have. Hebrews 13:5

"You will never be content if you focus on your wants, because you will always want more. That is why the Lord promises to supply all your needs, not your wants. The more you focus on what the Lord values, the more you will be able to distinguish your wants from your needs. If you constantly feel discontented, you may be focusing more on what you want than on what God knows is best for you." (ouch)

God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. 2 Peter 1:3

"When the Lord reaches out to supply your needs, you will grow in your trust of him. The problem comes when you look for your wants to be met and completely miss all the needs God is meeting in your life. As you learn to value God's priorities, you will learn not to be seduced by the world's." (ouch again...)

....teaching a 12 year old this is a little difficult...especially when I have a hard time distinguishing the difference between wants and needs myself.

I consider myself to be simple...I don't need name brand clothing, if I do own any I purchased it at Marshalls. I've had the same cell phone for three years...but I have a cell phone.

My wants aren't material things. I don't "need" to be in a relationship, yet part of me does find myself a little jealous/envious when I see two people that are deeply in love. ...something I "need" to work on! :)

Take an inventory on what you have in your life...I think most will be surprised to see that we don't set the best example. I know I fail but I have a child to raise and I want to get it right! :)

...just something to think about.

Road Trip!

...sort of!

Nick decided to tag along with me today on a little outing. It was a rough start, but after I "blew up" I think he understood that spending time together should be about "relaxing" and having fun, rather than nagging his mom about what time he "has" to be back into town! Ha...sometimes raising your voice is a good thing?

I have discovered that there is one thing in life that I can't handle...and that is being on a "schedule." I would have LOVED to have been able to spend a few more hours driving around the foothills, just to see what I could discover. I had two choices today...go alone, or ask Nick to join me. He seemed interested, and this was a great opportunity to spend time together so even though I sacrificed a few more hours of adventure, I'm glad I chose to take him along! :)

We picked up a California Road Atlas, and headed east...

Traveling along the backroads, we saw some pretty amazing things, as well as discovered a new place to go on a hot day...

We drove beyond Bridgeport...(which is where I would have liked to have stopped, but have been there before so we kept driving). Here is a picture that Nick took along the way...

And here is a shot of Bridgeport from above...

We found this cute little "water hole" (?) I guess I don't know what you'd call it...but there was no one there so we spent nearly an hour just hanging out.

...and saw these little guys...

A few miles up the road, I slammed on the brakes and threw the car into reverse so I could jump out and take pictures of these...

Thinking they were the biggest dandelions I had ever seen, until...

Apparently, this was the very first long distance telephone line in the country. My parents have been here...but I hadn't come across it yet. This was one of the cutest little buildings I have seen in a long time!

Nick and I took turns having our own little photo shoot...

And then we kept driving until we reached another "familiar" place.

The Yuba River is by far one of the most beautiful, serene places I have ever discovered. When we first moved to California, this was one of the very first places my dad took us to. I was about 6 months pregnant and simply "hiking" would have been considered good exercise. However...we (kind of) got lost and ended up "scaling" cliffs (picture that for a moment). I acquired poison oak (one of the few times I've had a reaction to it) and because I was pregnant, couldn't take anything so I had to suffer through it...

This was the very same river I took a few girls (and Nick) to in late summer of 2007, and had my very first near death experience. This was the first time in almost two years that Nick and I have re-visited it. Seriously...it was the scariest thing I have ever experienced, as Nick and I both plummeted down the side of this hill in a failed attempt to climb it.

The river in itself is incredible. Here is what it looked like today:

After spending a few hours away today, I realized once again that there is so much to discover in northern California. Looking forward to having another opportunity for a road trip in the near future!

May Vacation...Day #6

So here we are...the final day of my vacation. I'm kind of glad that I've spaced the days out on my blog, because as I look through the pictures I am reminded of the great time that it was!

If this post gets hard to follow, it is because my son is watching Taladega Nights on Demand...which is a little distracting! :)

The time off went by way too quickly. I think I easily could have gone for another week or so...but vacations and spending time with friends is all about the quality of time and not the quantity.

So what were we going to do on the final day of vacation?
We started off the day by grabbing breakfast and heading out to find....

a CABLE CAR! 13 years in California and several trips to San Francisco, but I had never been on a cable car! It took a while to figure out where we needed to board and then it ended up dropping us off downtown where we had to get off the car and purchase a ticket to get back on...along with a few hundred other people!

It was fun...and NOW I can say I've been on a cable car!

After that, we decided to make our way (on foot) to Coit Tower. What an adventure. Scratch that. What a FUN adventure! The weather was great and the walk was extremely pleasant...especially the detour I suggested, up a zillion flights of stairs! I had the best ideas during the trip...a six hour car drive, climbing unending stairs...sometimes I think I'm better off shutting up and taking orders!

The view from Coit HAS to be one of the best in the city...

The walk back to the Pier was a little less strenous than earlier...this was when I caught a glimpse of this pigeon. I have never seen one with red eyes...

We strolled down the Pier and out onto a dock that had a few ships and then around to a fishing dock...



...where I witnessed another "first."

This sea gull was definitely enjoying his meal!

(I really enjoyed this statue. Not sure how much it cost, but if I were rich and had a way to bring it home, I would have purchased it!)

For lunch...Boudin Bread. I was all about the bread bowl, until I sat down and then I changed my mind...so much to choose from!

One month ago tomorrow I was just starting this amazing vacation...and now I'm ready for another one! :)

...Stay tuned!

Sunday!

I love Sundays...I really, REALLY do!!! When my head hit the pillow last night I was extremely doubtful that I was even going to be able to function this morning after enduring one of the worst migraines for the entire day yesterday. (note: I LOVE Sundays...HATE migraines!)

Sundays are amazing. I am settled in what I believe to be one of the most incredible churches in the country. Does that sound bad? I'm sure there are an abundance of great churches...that's why I said "one of the most!" Even though I rarely get the chance to "mingle" with anyone over the age of...TWO, occasionally someone older will drop in, or pass me in the hall with a simple "hello" and more often than not, a big hug. There was a time in which I was uncomfortable with that but not anymore...

So today was a day that I got a few hugs, and a small amount of interaction with "big people."

I'm excited at the possibility that I may head out on a road/photography trip with my friend Rebecca on Saturday (it just so happens her schedule is clear that day) so I suggested we cruise around and see what we can find. No real destination...and we may even try to snag a few "models" for the trip. Suggestions anyone? I have so much respect for her photography, she does amazing work and if anyone needs one...she's your gal! :)

Anyway...after church I came home to play with Nick for a while. He bought a frisbee last week and I promised him I'd play. Our courtyard has ten (pretty tall) trees, five on each end. It was inevitable that the frisbee would land in one at least once. So here we stood...looking up at the frisbee hanging from a branch approximately 15 feet off the ground. After attempting to throw sticks at it, I decided to "scale" the trunk up to the branches. After shaking the branch for about 5 minutes it finally fell to he ground. At the time, I felt like I was 12 again. Now...I feel like I'm 50. My butt and legs are sore and my back hurts. But as far as my son knows...he's got a pretty amazing mom! :)

So...I've also been really excited to filter through some of my "why" questions.

As I pondered where these questions were going to take me, the one thing that continually came to my mind this week was this:

...There are many things I simply can not control in life. Truthfully, there is nothing I can control in life. Whether this is in regards to parenting, finding a companion or encountering unpleasant people. Think about it...there is already a plan set in motion, for all of us. We can interfere with those plans by taking on our own "personal" agendas, but how often do we benefit from doing so?

So ultimately...what can we do?

...The only thing we can (or rather should) be concerned with, is how we choose to react to the "hands we are dealt." Sounds so simple...but why does it seem to be so hard?

...Because we are human.

There is someone I know and encounter quite often, that I am convinced lies. Little lies, big lies...lies! And it is so stinking frustrating! Seriously...I have had dreams that I confront this person...violently. It's not pretty. I wake up, and I am even more angry with this person than I am in "real life." I don't enjoy having these dreams which is the reason I partially included the situation in my initial "why" blog. I want to be able to work through my feelings about this person and I figured this is a great way to start.

And then there are the "relationship" whys. Relationships as a whole. Family, friends, dating..."relationships." I'm finding that wrestling with those are a little more difficult. And personal. It is my intention to be as honest as I can be when writing about them. I know that there are some people who fit into that category that actually read this blog, and some do not. This is my disclaimer: I am trying to work through some things that I know I need to work on. It's nothing personal against anyone. It's all about my insecurities, my fears, my attitude toward some things. Things that I need to work on... :)

Ok...I'm going to bring this thing to a close, because...well because I'm getting a little sleepy and I need to finish Mario Party 8 with my kid. :)

Speaking of my kid...that was another incredible blessing this week. I received a facebook message from a youth group leader asking me if Nick had mentioned anything to me about houseboat camp. (he hadn't) Apparently, they are taking a group of kids on a four day trip to Lake Shasta this month. I asked Nick why he hadn't mentioned it to me and if he was interested in going. ...he wanted to go, but didn't ask because he thought it was too much money. (everyone say "aw") Ends up that there is scholarship money available and there are youth leaders (as well as his pastor) that really want Nick to go...so, my son is going to camp in a few weeks!

May Vacation...Day #5

Well, we only took one day to venture around Ft. Bragg, so we were up pretty early and set out to grab some breakfast at the Egghead Cafe. Not quite sure how they got their name. The "theme" inside the diner was a Wizard of Oz theme that had a yellow brick road painted on the floor from the front door, leading through the kitchen, out the back door, and to a little outhouse...just in case you needed direction to the "facilities." It was a little odd, but the food was great and it really had a small-town feel to the whole breakfast experience.

So with full bellies we cruised down to the beach to take a stroll.

One of the "attractions" in Ft. Bragg is a beach called "Glass Beach." Apparently years ago, a portion of the ocean was used as a "dump" and throughout the years, the ocean has turned the "junk" into glass that covers the beach. This was definitely not what I had envisioned it to be and was pretty disappointed so we didn't stay long.

Next we traveled to Noyo Harbor which is a present day fishing harbor, complete with the sound of sea lions echoing through the bay. Sometimes I wish you could translate what the sea lions are "barking" to each other!

We walked down the street until we reached the mouth of the harbor, snapped some pictures and headed back to the car.

From there, we ventured back south to the Point Cabrillo Lighthouse for a hike.

We were blessed with another beautiful day and amazing scenery. I have to admit though, I get just a "TAD" uneasy whenever I'm hiking and I there are signs posted that read, "Mountain Lions live in this area." A mountain Lion is something that I don't want to cross paths with, so my eyes were constantly scanning the landscape!

We did see a few deer, and several birds perched on plants and posts...

Thankfully, no other wildlife (except a groundhog).

The Lighthouse was cute and the ocean view was breathtaking. After spending some time there, we chose to head back via a different route. Not sure if it was the best idea, but what can I say? We like to "live life on the edge" and are always up for new adventures! (?) And even though we left the Navigating device in the car, we found our way back with our sense of humor intact! :)

A little way down the road we reached Mendocino, where we stopped for lunch, knowing we wouldn't have too many more options for quite some time. We found yet (another) cute little pizza/ice cream parlor with a small-town ambiance. (And amazing ice cream!)

I decided to take a chance and surrender my time behind the wheel. Now I say "take a chance" because I am "one of those" people that gets car sick, and winding roads can make for a potentially bad situation! However, the person behind the wheel did a pretty incredible job and I survived the entire drive back without any nausea or anxiety!

We arrived back in San Francisco and stopped to take a few more picture of "The Bay." The weather was perfect!

Because the weather was so perfect, we took the opportunity to catch the sunset behind the Golden Gate Bridge:

Then we headed down to Pier 39 for some seafood. We decided to try Fisherman's Grotto and I was not disappointed at all! I chose the traditional Fish and Chips because (sadly) the only time I've ever had it, was at Long John Silvers which is definitely not the same! :)

After dinner we walked around, making our final stop pf the day to grab a bag of fresh doughnuts. (And I'm still having difficulty dropping the 8 pounds I gained that week!)

Five days in...one to go. What could we possibly see or do that we haven't already?