Life Lesson Through a Strained ACL

I cannot believe that it’s August already…

August marks the start of football season, and this year has proven to be pretty eventful so far…


Practice started the last week of July, which just so happened to be the time I set aside for a “last hoorah” trip. Destination Los Angeles.

Nick began his first week of football with what they dub “hell week.” My son has made it an annual tradition NOT to prepare for intense drilling and once again found himself getting sick in the middle of night number one. His response to me that first night was, “I just wasn’t ready for it.” Hmmm….

Night number two brought him home limping and complaining of a sore ankle.

As I watched him walk to the car after night number three I noticed that he wasn’t drenched in sweat. When I questioned it, he confessed that he sat out of practice because of his ankle and was told to put ice on it.

Night number four marked the first day of my vacation and the evening before Nick’s started. After a phone call before bed he confessed that he sat out once again and his coach advised that he go in to see a doctor.

As Nick arrived in Orange County that Friday morning, I watched him limp towards me like an 80 year old man with a prosthetic leg. He had been living on Aleve and I decided that we should make a quick stop at a drug store to pick up some Ben Gay or Icy Hot to help the muscles.

I honestly felt bad for him as I watched him painfully walk around the entire weekend. He didn’t complain much, but I could tell he was hurting.

Upon our return home last Monday, I took him in to Urgent Care before practice to have a doctor tell me what we’d already diagnosed it to be.

A strained ACL.

No football practice for 3-4 weeks.

As we drove home I could sense the disappointment in my son’s being. He has come to terms with the fact that this year will be the last year that he will play football because he knows the intensity of the sport, what is required to perform at his best, and he has somewhat acknowledged that there are some things that he knows he simply cannot do…

Sitting in the doctor’s office, I had asked Nick if the ankle he strained was the leg that he has problems with and he said yes. I then explained to the doctor that Nick had been diagnosed with cerebral palsy a few years ago and the only thing that was affected from this disease was his leg…could it be that the lack of “working” nerves in his leg resulted in the strained ankle? His response was…absolutely. He continued to stress the importance of exercising that ankle and leg to build up extra strength, which ironically was the advice given by his doctor at the Shriner’s hospital.

So back in the car, I put on the “stern parent hat” and explained to Nick how important it is to listen to the advice that a doctor gives him. Saying you understand and are going to work on it is very different than actually doing it. With tears building up in his eyes on the verge of pouring out, he quietly said, “I knew you were going to think this was my fault.”

One of the greatest difficulties for me as a single parent is trying to find that balance between the roles of mom and dad. Sadly, I believe I find myself telling my son to “buck up” more often than wrapping my arms around him and telling him it’s all going to be ok… My prayer is that one day he’ll fully understand the things that are truly important to me in regards to raising him. To love him the best way that I know how, and to help him become a man of strength, courage, and integrity. To build him up and encourage him along the way. To teach him the importance of morals and the things he should value.

I felt as though I let him down on our drive home that day from the doctor…

It makes me wonder how God does it with us…finds that balance between the stern discipline and wrapping his arms around us in comfort, to let us know that it’s all going to be ok. How He hurts more than anything when we’re hurting and yet will continue to discipline us as needed. How He must rejoice when we fully understand the depth of His love, mercy and grace.

And for a moment I was the 13 year old in the car, seated next to Jesus in the driver’s seat. Tears swelling up in my eyes as I felt the blame placed upon me… All of the advice I have never heeded to. The endless number of times I felt things never went my way. And He looked at me with piercing, compassionate eyes. “It’s not your fault… I have done what I’ve done because I love you…and I have greater things in store for you than you could ever possibly imagine. It’s not your time now, but it’s coming. And all the pain, heartache, and disappointment will blossom into life’s greatest blessings for you. I promise.”

Life is full of all kinds of lessons, and thanks to God for allowing them to shine through in my life...