My Man

Within the past few weeks, I have felt as though I have been on a brand new journey. A journey in discovering more about myself in regards to the person God has created me to be. I have been trying to deal with my insecurities, some mistakes that I’ve made, as well as what I can do in order to turn some of those choices I’ve made around to become more aligned with God’s will for my life…

I’m not perfect. I have never claimed to be, and in all raw honesty I am so glad that I’m not. Because my failures and my faults, usually bring me to my knees and it is in that very moment that I feel closer to God than ever before. I think God knows that about me, and possibly even you that are reading this as well. I don’t believe that God’s intentions are for us to fall, but I do believe that if that’s the only way that He can grab our attention, He will allow us to. For no other reason than to be the first One that stretches out his arm to help us back to our feet. Most days I simply want what I want, not fully acknowledging the fact that God has other plans for me.

During this time, I sat down with my mom to watch a home video of my child. It was his graduation from pre-school, 8 years ago. There he was, dressed in his white gown, with his white cap sitting cock-eyed on his cute little head. As they finished one song after another, he stood as proud as he could be, applauding in between, grinning from ear to ear. I don’t know who held more pride. Nick, at 5 years of age, or myself as I watched the video that night…

A few weeks ago he was belting out a Mercy Me song while walking down the hallway. Little did he know he had changed a part of the lyrics to something that was insanely comical to everyone who was within earshot. For the past year he has proudly stood next to my mom, chest out just to show us he has reached the point of towering over her and has gradually been doing the same thing to me. I still have about an inch and a half on him, and have also reminded him that height doesn’t hold a candle next to strength!

I love my son. LOVE HIM! From him knowingly trying to crack me up, to unknowingly he is amazing. And one thing I don't ever want to fail at, is in raising my boy...

I was reading an article this week about Integrity, Conviction, and Courage written by someone named Kay Arthur. The article is in regards to being a man of those sorts. She quoted a letter that was written by General Douglas MacArthur as a legacy to his son.

"Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid. One who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat and humble and gentle in victory. Build me a son whose wishbone is not where his backbone should be, a son who will know Thee, and that to know himself is the foundation stone of knowledge. Lead him, I pray, not in the path of ease and comfort, but under the stress and spur of difficulties and challenge. Here let him learn to stand up in the storm. Let him learn compassion for those who fail. Build me a son whose heart will be clear, whose goal will be high, a son who will master himself before he seeks to master other men. One who will learn to laugh, yet never forget how to weep. One who will reach into the future, yet never forget the past. And after all these things are his, add, I pray, enough of a sense of humor so that he may always be serious, yet never take himself too seriously. Give him humility, so that he will always remember the simplicity of true greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, the meekness of true strength. Then I, his father, will dare to whisper, ‘I have not lived in vain.’”

As a single woman, I can only hope that I will one day have the blessing of calling a man like this my husband. In the meantime I will do all that I can to make sure that I will raise my son to be this very example to others…