Trusting in a Hard Drive

Last year at Christmas, I was given a gift that I never would have thought to ask for. And when I opened it, I didn't even have the slightest idea what it actually was. So with a hesitant, "Wow" expression of gratitude, I said thank you to my parents and thankfully a few moments later my dad was quick enough to see that I was clueless and explained that it was an external hard drive for my computer...to use as a back up for my gazillion pictures that I have on my Dell.

The following day or two after Christmas, he sat down with the new device and began showing me how to use it and backing files up for me. He also admired the gift, mentioning that a piece of machinery like it, was something "computer literate" people could only dream about 10 years ago. You see, a terabyte can hold an "x" # of megabytes, or gigabytes...or something. :)

...He lost me at the word "terabyte."

This was five months ago. The hard drive sits in my dresser drawer with cables and instructions. I have taken it out once to back up files and then placed it back in it's new home.

It intimidates me. It makes me apprehensive. And it scares me.

I have photo files on my laptop, on my desktop at work, on memory cards and hundreds of cds. Some of the files are on this handy little piece of computer genius, but not nearly all. And the ones that are on the hard drive remain on my laptop for "safe-keeping."

...Until devastation occurs and the Dell crashes, I know...

As I was driving to work this morning I was thinking about my failure to trust in that hard drive. And not just in my not trusting it, but even the doubt in myself that I will be able to transfer the files successfully.

It's a little silly when I stop and think about it, because at any given moment someone could break into my house and steal both the computer and the hard drive, or there could be a fire, or a flood, etc. The bottom line is, anything could happen at any given moment in which both would be destroyed.

So I had concluded that I need to get over my petty little mistrust issues and simply utilize the gift I've been given to its fullest capacity.

Well, my thoughts this morning didn't stop there. As I was having this conversation with myself in my Honda, and I mentally spoke that statement above, God intervened as he often does, with a "h-hum."

He gripped my soul and continued to speak to me about those "petty little mistrust issues" that run deeper than gadgets. They have a tenancy to consume my being.

Where is my life heading to?

How did I get here and how on earth can I get out?

What is my purpose?

Am I missing something here?

They are little seeds of question that completely dry up when fed with "doubt" and without being nourished by the simple ingredient of "trust."

For trust being one of the most words used in the Bible, it seems to be the one thing that I have the most difficulty committing myself to. Just when I think I'm doing the right thing, or walking in the way God is leading me, doubt and insecurity weasel their way into my life and I automatically wrestle with my will vs. His. And "trust" is pushed to the side...

...Until God intervenes in a way that only He can.

"Get over your petty little mistrust issues and simply utilize the gift you've been given to its fullest capacity."

Our gift is life. And when we are fearful of letting go or consumed with the little things that we can't control, we are hindering ourselves from being able to allow God to do His work in and through us. Work that glorifies Him and blesses us. Have you ever stopped to realize that is how God works? He's honored and glorified and in turn He does the unimaginable for us! All we have to do is trust Him enough. He'll pull through.

He always has and He always will.

The bottom line in life is that at any given moment, when our ways, wants, and wills crumble and fail, all God wants us to do is to trust in Him. Because His never will.

Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him...

-Psalm 37:3-7

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground.

-Psalm 143:8, 10