Lions, Tigers, and Bears

It seems like forever since I have felt determined to sit down and blog. ...I mean really blog. I have caught myself in the middle of frustration because I haven't been able to focus on one single topic and just "go with it." As I was getting ready for work this morning, things all came together and I realized that I was once again trying to push my way into something that God was not ready to release me to do.

I want my posts to have meaning and sometimes even depth. :) And I want my posts to come from my heart. The past month or so, I feel as though I've experienced a case of "writer's block." ...and I don't even consider myself to be a writer!!!

Anyway, this morning as I was getting ready for work, I was reflecting on a trip to the snow that I took over the weekend with Nick and a small group of others from church. The snow was great. It was an absolutely beautiful day. So beautiful that the majority of us shed our warm winter jackets and gloves shortly after we arrived.

But my thoughts this morning weren't focused on the snow, or the sun, or the sledding. All I kept thinking about was the topic of discussion we had on the hour and a half drive there.

Earlier in the week, I was listening to talk radio's "Armstrong and Getty." It was a "best-of" show and they were discussing a recent study performed at UC Davis. The study was about how to react if you find yourself face to face with a mountain lion.

Originally, it was advised that you should stand still. Now they feel as though running for your life may be a better alternative. Either way, I pray to God that I never find myself in a situation where I am forced to make that kind of decision.

There was a caller on the talk show that was living in the Foothills at the time, and was out for a daily run. As he was jogging along a trail, he caught something out of the corner of his eye, stopped, and noticed a mountain lion staring at him. He began to run again and noticed the "cat" running along with him. He stopped, the mountain lion stopped. He began to jog, and the cat did the same. Fortunately, there was no actual encounter and it makes for an incredible story.

So we discussed lions, and bear, and snakes, and gators, and sharks...

And by the time we pulled off the side of the road for an unscheduled pit stop...I was so paranoid that when I heard snow falling from a tree branch to the ground I freaked out and jumped back into the truck, heart racing and palms sweaty.

"If it ever happens that I find myself face to face with a mountain lion, I am going to pray that there is a single stone nearby and that God turns me into David."

And then I wondered what I would do if this happened and Nick was with me. One of the other things discussed on the talk show was the fact that wild animals will prey on someone based on their "gait." Nick has a limp in his walk... Sure it's easy to say that I would sacrifice myself for my son's life. But what if after I've been attacked the animal goes after him next?

...then I realized that I was turning into a hypochondriac.

How many times in our everyday life do we find our hearts racing? Our palms sweaty? How many times do we "freak out," find ourselves running for cover, barely able to breathe out of fear?

Now think about this...

How many times have we missed out on something incredible, more amazing than we could possibly comprehend, rob ourselves of a joyful experience, or fail to live in the moment because of our fear?

...our fear of disappointment.

...our fear of failure.

...our fear of being hurt.

My adrenaline raced immensely on that drive as we talked about "wildlife encounters." And I am not exaggerating when I mentioned stepping out of the truck and being paranoid. I was so convinced that there was a mountain lion lurking in the bushes along the side of the road.

As we got in the truck to head home from our day in the snow I realized that in the few hours we spent laughing, playing, and enjoying the beautiful day, there wasn't a single moment that I felt that fear. And I can't help but think about how much I would have missed out on had my mind been consumed with that fear.

One of my goals in 2010 is to work through fear. Without apprehension. Without anxiety. Without timidity. Without doubt.

I may not have physically encountered a mountain lion that day.

...but I believe God handed me a stone...