me time

Do you ever get to the point in which you feel like you're just a "tad" overwhelmed and simply need to escape reality for a bit? Even if it's just for a brief moment, that moment can be exactly what you need to clear your mind and shut the rest of the world out.

2008 has been such an unpredictable year. I don't ever recall a year that has consisted of so much pain and grief as I've seen over the past ten months. And I'm not speaking of me personally, but to some of those that are very special to me as well as those that I have occasional contact with. ...A woman and her two beautiful young daughters...suddenly having to face the rest of their lives without their husband and daddy. A mother losing her child at birth...knowing that in this life, she will never have the opportunity to rock her daughter to sleep at night or watch her grow into a beautiful woman. A young, single mother, giving in to the pressures of this everyday life that we live in, and losing the battle to overcome them...leaving behind a gorgeous little boy and a parent that will forever be asking the question, "why?" And the loss of my own grandfather. Shortly after he passed away I had called my grandma to check in on her. Through her tears of loneliness and brokenness, she told me that she goes to his grave every night...just to kiss him goodnight. Some would think that was a little "odd" but I think it's an amazing testimony of true and everlasting love. Something I hope to find one day...

I am blessed to have the opportunity to interact with kids almost every day. And I look at them...so innocent, so full of life, and can't help but wonder...what does God have planned for their lives? What does God have planned for my own child's life? And what on earth does He have planned for mine?! Why do some people have to face such devastation? How can someone walk through the majority of their life on the straight and narrow, have stronger values than most people in this day and age, work hard to hold on to what is sacred...and in the end, have to step back and look at the pile of rubble that once was their entire life? These are all questions that I've been wrestling with. I think we live in a world in which we feel we "have" to figure things out for ourselves. Recently it dawned on me. Do I need to have all the answers? I mean...if all of us had the answers to every single question we ever had...then God wouldn't be "God". Right? Don't get me wrong. I know that God gives us all "choice"...and there are some things in life that we have to figure out. But when it comes to the bigger things...the things that we can't seem to wrap our minds around? I think those are reserved for God and God alone.

What does this have to do with "me time"? Being overwhelmed I knew that I was overdue for some time away. So...I took it.

A little over a month ago, a friend had asked me if I would like to help out with an event in San Francisco. Without hesitation I told her yes. And this past weekend was the "I Am Love 360" event. It poured down rain the entire day...but that didn't hinder the purpose for the event! In addition to meeting some new friends I was also fortunate to have the opportunity to meet up with a few "old" friends. After the show and dodging the "near-death" streets of the city (it IS after all, the streets and NOT the driver that are deadly...) we made our way down to the pier for some seafood. Not sure I should openly admit this, but this was the fist time I have ever had seafood in San Francisco! And it wasn't all that bad...however, I loaded up on some AMAZING garlic bread so I only had room for about three or four bites of the main course. (yet I DID reserve some room for a few spoonfuls of apple crisp that I stole off of someone else's plate!) Good food...and good company.

The weather was close to perfect on Sunday, so we took some time to visit the zoo. I LOVE the zoo...any zoo. From the animals, to the smells, to the junk food! Maybe the reason I enjoy the zoo so much is because it kind of takes me back to being a kid again...and for a few more hours, I was able to shut the rest of the world out, and be simple-minded. After walking around a bit and taking a TON of pictures, my mind did start to wander a little. I couldn't help but look at a few of the animals and wonder, "what is it that goes through THEIR minds?" You know they have to have thoughts. For instance, take this gorilla...

He looks so contemplative, and I imagined him thinking about how his life is on display for our enjoyment...

After spending the afternoon there, we took a stroll on the beach, another one of my favorite places to go. I cannot think of a more "serene" sound than that of waves and the ocean roar. I could spend my entire life on the beach and be completely satisfied. It was a little foggy, but it was still a beautiful sunset. And for one more moment, nothing else existed. I couldn't have asked for a better day.

...mission accomplished.