After the Rain

I was working the other night at the church when one of the little boys climbed on my lap to snuggle as we watched a movie. (I LOVE those moments!) He was curled up in a blanket and let out a pretty big sigh for a six year old. I asked him if he was sleepy, and he said yes. I asked him if he had a long day in school and he said yes. Then he followed it with, “My life is so HARD.” My eyes widened. “Really?” He’s six years old. SIX! And he thinks his life is hard. When I was six, I was playing with Barbie dolls, swinging on our extremely unsafe swing set, chasing butterflies and catching fireflies. Running after my dog, cuddling with my cats. Naturally I went to school, but even school meant reading, playing on the monkey bars and see-saw. It was art class! It was cupcakes to celebrate a classmate’s birthday, and being able to pick something out of the “treasure box” in Mrs. Connell’s class when you got 100% on your spelling test. I don’t ever remember a single moment in which I thought my life was “hard” at six years old.

My nephew is six years old. I wonder if deep down he thinks his life is hard.

There are days I’d swap places with a six year old in a heartbeat.

I hated to be the person that had to break it to him…but life does not get any easier.

On my way to work Monday morning, as I was once again driving in the rain I thought to myself, “I sure can’t wait to see the flowers in May that these showers are going to bring.” Little did I know that God was going to use that thought as a metaphor to speak to me that day.

The “hardships” of this earthly life aren’t getting any easier. Blame it on the economy, blame it on Generation “X,” blame it on the rain. (Sorry, I couldn't resist. And now, you too will have Milli Vanilli stuck in your head!) The bottom line is that life is hard. Sometimes life seems unfair and impossible to comprehend.

A friend of mine just expressed her pain to me in regards to some unhealthy choices her husband has been making. I recently learned that another friend of mine lost his brother last month. I was told of a parent who is struggling with her child’s deep desire to be liked in school and the extent in which she’s gone to “fit in.”

Amidst the emotions of feeling others’ pain, I was informed of another friend who, after several years of marriage and infertility tests had not been able to conceive…until now. Which is a glimmer of hope in a dark world.

I don’t know why some things happen. Sometimes I feel as though on this side of eternity we will never have the answers.

Ironically...(hardly) the daily devotional emailed to me on April 13, 2010 via Ron Hutchcraft ministries was titled, "Shrinking Your God."

One of the great names for Jesus in the Bible is the "Lion of the Tribe of Judah." When noted author C. S. Lewis created a character to be his Christ-figure in his "Chronicles of Narnia" fantasies, he introduced us to Aslan, the lion-king of Narnia. In Lewis' enchanting books, Narnia is a land where the animals speak, where the forces of evil are strong, and where Aslan, though only seen on rare occasions, is the dominant figure. Lucy is one of the children who's transported to Narnia. In one of the later books in the Chronicles, Lucy is finally reunited with the lion-king, Aslan. I'll let C. S. Lewis take it from here: "'Welcome child,' he said. Lucy said, 'Aslan, you're bigger.' And he answered, 'That is because you are older, little one.' 'Oh, not because you are?' Lucy said. 'Oh, I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger.'"

I'm Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A Word With You today about "Shrinking Your God."

That is your King's plans for you - that every year you grow, you'll find Him bigger. That's the kind of God you have if you belong to Jesus Christ. You can never reach His limits. He has none. He is all those "omni's" the Bible scholars talk about: omniscient - there's nothing He doesn't know; omnipresent - there's no place where He isn't there; omnipotent - there's nothing He cannot do. The problem is this strange tendency we have in the more challenging times in our life: that the bigger the issue is, the smaller our God seems to be to us. The problem looks unsolvable, the need looks un-meetable, the mountain is unmovable, and we end up handling the hard times as if our God is too small to handle this one.

For all of us God-shrinkers, there's our word for today from the Word of God in Jeremiah 32, beginning with verse 17. It's a wonderful prayer, a powerful prayer from the prophet Jeremiah, and perhaps, the very prayer you need to be praying right now in the face of something overwhelming. "Ah, Sovereign Lord, You made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you. O great and powerful God, whose name is the Lord Almighty, great are Your purposes and mighty are Your deeds." Now listen to God's response: "Then the word of the Lord came to Jeremiah: 'I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for the Lord?'"

Think about it: when your problem suddenly gets bigger than it's ever been, does it get harder for God? When the financial need is greater than you've ever seen, does it suddenly get harder for God to supply it? When your medical condition gets worse, does it get beyond what God can handle? If the person you've been praying for so long seems to be getting farther from God than they've ever been, did God's rescue challenge suddenly get a lot bigger? When the issues with your child or your spouse or your parent take a turn for the worse, is it suddenly harder for God to pull this out? For every question like that, watch my lips for the answer: No! "Nothing is too hard for the Lord" including your thing. It gets bigger and harder for us, but there's no such word as "hard" in the vocabulary of God.

When the ancient Jews saw the size of the people and the defenses in the Promised Land, they obsessed on how big their problem was. They totally forgot how much bigger their God was. And they ended up in the wilderness for a long time, and so do we. You may be stressing and sinking and even sinning right now because you're underestimating your God; you're under-trusting Him.

Faith is the key that unlocks all the great things God has for you. And He isn't about to let your faith stay the same size. He's in the faith-enlargement business. He's let something come into your life that defies human solution, that overwhelms human answers, so you can experience how big your King really is. When the bad news gets "badder," your God does not get smaller. He is still the Sovereign Lord, the great and powerful God. So, let yourself be overwhelmed by the God you have, and you'll find that nothing but Him is truly overwhelming!

From now on, when the showers and even the storms come into my life, I hope I can remember to focus on the flowers that will blossom in my life as a result. Maybe they won't blossom on this side of heaven, but I'm sure there will be fields of color when I make it home!

A Shared Post

Found this last week and thought I would share. Enjoy! :)

The Hammer In God's Hands - #5800

A Word With You - Your Hard Times
Friday, April 3, 2009

Is a hammer a good thing or a bad thing? I guess it depends on whose hands the hammer is in. If you put a hammer in the hands of our little grandson and turn him loose, you're not going to like the results. He's probably going to do some damage with that thing. But I've watched that same kind of hammer do some really good things in the hands of some skilled workmen; of which I am not one. At our home, at our office, I've seen a hammer used to build some things that are really useful. That same hammer in a child's hands, though, "Oh, look out, man!"

I'm Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A Word With You today about "The Hammer In God's Hands."

Suffering, pain, hardship, heartache - those are some of life's hammers. You may feel like one of those hammers has been beating on you lately. What you may not realize is who's holding that hammer and what He's trying to do with it.

It was something the prophet Jonah figured out in the belly of a great fish. You remember the story: Jonah had been called by God to deliver God's message to the evil city of Nineveh. Jonah didn't want to. He tried to run from God, actually a whimsical thought if you consider it for very long, by getting on a ship to a faraway place. (Umm...God won't know about this place.) A violent storm engulfed that ship. It endangered the lives of everybody on board. Jonah knew the storm was for him, and he urged the sailors to throw him overboard so they could be saved. As he hit the water, he was scooped up and swallowed by what the Bible calls a "great fish."

Miraculously preserved in the belly of that beast, Jonah, it says, "prayed to the Lord his God." His prayer is perspective and it is our word for today from the Word of God. It's Jonah 2 , beginning with verse 2. "In my distress I called to the Lord, and He answered me. From the depths of the grave, I called for help, and You listened to my cry. You hurled me into the deep (Now notice, not the sailors, but You, Lord.) into the very heart of the seas, and the currents swirled about me; all your waves and breakers swept over me." Notice here, Jonah looks beyond what people did to him and what the weather did to Him and he sees that those were just hammers in God's hand - not to destroy him but to build him into what he needed to be.

The hammer that hits us in our life can either break us or build us. If we'll turn to God when we're getting hit, looking for His purposes and His message, that hammer can build us into something we've never been before. If we don't turn to God when we feel the hammer blows, we'll get the pain but not the point. Ultimately, the suffering that we face is not from those people, or that condition, or the economy, or that situation that seems to be hurting us. It's either been sent by God or allowed by God, and He loves you enough to have His Son die for you.

Like Jonah, God could be using your storm to bring you back to some promises you made to God - promises you haven't kept. You told Him you'd go "anywhere" for Him, but you haven't. You made promises about your priorities (remember?), your family, your giving, your service to Him, but you've drifted from those promises. Maybe you told God you'd abandon some sinful ways, but your repentance has lapsed and you're drifting back to the old you.

But God is pounding on you with His loving hammer, trying to use this storm to wake you up and bring you back. It's taking the pounding to get your attention. C. S. Lewis had it right: "God whispers in our pleasure, but He shouts in our pain." These hits are, in the words of Psalm 148:8 , "stormy winds that do His bidding." Their purpose isn't to hurt you, but to heal you; not to wreck you, but to restore you. The storm isn't to blow you away; it's to blow you into God's arms!

Renewal

Renew
–verb (used with object)
1. to begin or take up again, as an acquaintance, a conversation, etc.; resume.
2. to make effective for an additional period: to renew a lease.
3. to restore or replenish: to renew a stock of goods.
4. to make, say, or do again.
5. to revive; reestablish.
6. to recover (youth, strength, etc.).
7. to restore to a former state; make new or as if new again.
(Definition from Dictionary.com)

I think with springtime arriving, the grass, trees, plants and flowers transitioning from brown to green it is a natural thing to think about this time of year.

This is a word that has been spoken in my heart for the past month or so. It seems as though every morning, I hear the word whispered to me as I get out of bed and begin my 45 minute drive to work.

Renew.

For some, a renewal process is difficult, maybe even painful. For me…a renewal process is comforting.

There are certain areas of my life I find myself renewing over, and over and over again. It is in these areas that I sense God’s presence the most. Typically, (in my life) in order to “renew” I must “surrender” and while that is one of the most difficult things for me to do, it is refreshing. It is the realization that my way gets me nowhere, and God’s way will get me where I need to be. When I can’t get it right, God gives me His grace to try it again. The refreshing part comes when the burden of carrying the stress is removed. It is in knowing that when I let go completely, God has the opportunity to move completely, without hindrance or resistance from me.

This week in particular, I have been pretty emotional with the thought of Easter approaching. This past weekend, I listened to one of my beautiful, little second cousins explain what Easter was all about. “Jesus died on the cross to take away my sins and then came back to life,” she said as she skipped through the parking lot on the way to the beach. My son came home from youth group and said that they watched a clip from The Passion of the Christ and I almost cried as I flashed back to when I watched it for the very first time.

The thought of all of our failures, all of our shortcomings, our sins…removed. To “restore to a former state; make new or as if new again. To revive; reestablish.” Jesus died a horrible death on a cross…for us and all we have to do is seek his forgiveness. To ask him to make us new again, and surrender our old ways.

I’ve been trying to be the person God has created me to be. I figure God deserves that much! And while I don’t understand a lot of what goes on through my journey in life I need to remember that He has a divine purpose for me. And when I start to question His purpose? He gives me moments like this:

This morning as I was driving to work, I looked to the east and thought, “NO WAY!” and God gently whispered… “renew.”

Every day is a new day, with new beginnings and new opportunities.

Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
-2 Corinthians 4:16

Living in the Now

For as long as I can remember, there has been this rusty old pickup truck (I'm trying to find the symbolism between me and rusty old trucks) sitting beside this shed on Highway 99. I have admired it and have told myself time and time again that "one of these days" I am going to stop and snap a few pictures of it.


Last week, as I was driving home from work and approaching the shed, I glanced to my right as I have hundreds of times before. My heart instantly sank as I discovered that the truck...was gone. As it was the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that, and even to this day. Gone.


In front of the shed is a "for lease" sign, so I can only assume that the truck...isn't coming back.


This truck had settled into the scenery on my drive. It was something I glanced at every day. Every day. It was something I looked forward to seeing. It was routine... It was familiar... And now it was gone.


I always have my camera with me. Why had I never stopped in the 8 years that I've been driving that stretch of Highway? What were my excuses? Twice a day, five days a week. 8 years. I had plenty of opportunities, but never "found" the time.


As I've sat back and wondered this past week, I've also wrestled with the important parts of my life which hold opportunities, but I never find the time for. Or the priorities in my life that are so far out of order. The people that surround me. Do I take the time? Do I make the time?

Thinking about this has been a pretty dramatic reality check for me. Why is it that the things in my life, and the people in my life seem to frequently take the back burner? How is it that the ones that we cherish the most, the ones that matter the most sometimes fade into the distance? Why do I say, "I'll call you tomorrow" and never follow through with my promise?

I often find myself failing miserably at taking advantage of the "now" moments. The opportunities that are staring me in the face and I turn from.

Life is short. Life is fragile. And lives are a blessing.

I have some catching up to do!

Discipline

Ah, that 10-letter word that no one really wants to hear!

This year for Lent, my son decided to give up video games and I was so incredibly stunned when he shared his decision with me. Stunned...and proud.

Giving something up, isn't easy. Especially when it's a pretty big part of your life. Nick giving video games up would be the equivalent to me giving up...Diet Coke. But come on, let's get realistic! :) Actually, at $7.48/24 pack plus the $1.20 deposit you pay, giving up Diet Coke is sounding a little bit more appealing! (for me, the addict)

Anyway...back to my son and his video games. Ever since the release of Call of Duty Modern Warfare2, Nick has been glued to the television every free second he has. And then you factor in the concept of having the opportunity to chat live with his friends and family? Let's just say that his attention is entirely focused on one thing. ...getting the most "kills."

When he explained to me his decision to give it up for Lent, I thought there was no way. None! I also thought about how wonderful it would be to have his attention "back" as well as my room! (Unfortunately between his room and mine there is only one Internet connection. Lucky me!)

Somewhere along the road between what I was taught and what they are teaching now in regards to Lent, has changed. Apparently, it is acceptable during this season to do/eat whatever you gave up on Sundays in remembrance of what Christ did for us. And we are to reflect on that as we partake in whatever it is that we have given up. ...Somehow I find it hard to believe that as Nick is shooting a "cyber-soldier" he's praising Jesus or thanking God. But I have allowed him to play his XBox Live on Sundays.

However, yesterday...there was a slight problem. As he was interacting with friends he made the decision to shut the rest of the world (namely his mom) ...out. When asked to help his grandpa put a desk together, it was instant attitude. A little while later, something else came up that I questioned him about and there was no response from him whatsoever. Oh wait, there was something. It was the "eye roll, hands on the sides, turn the head, and completely ignore response." Fine. I'm the one in control..."It's ok, Nick. You're done playing that game for the day." I grabbed it out of the XBox, placed it in its cover, and found a good spot for it to sit. Maybe until next Sunday, maybe until Easter. I haven't decided yet.

I had to work last night at the church and the following is the text message conversation Nick and I had...

N: Whatd yOu do with call of duty
M: Hid it

N: Where

pause....

N: I want to play woth my friends

M: You can wait

N: No theyll be off

N: Come on

N: Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please tell me where it is

N: Hello

M: Nick, I'm working and you're making this situation worse. You can wait until I get home or you can wait until Easter

I'm assuming he caught my drift, because that was the end of the text conversation.

I have learned that the only thing worse than being disciplined...is having to discipline. Especially your child. I take no pleasure in telling him no, regardless of how empowering it is to sometimes play the "I'm the parent" card. It's not fun. But sometimes you just have to do it.

Maybe some of you can see where this is going, but as I was at the church last night and all of this had unfolded, I was reminded of how similar the reactions are when our God, disciplines us.

Dare we ever roll our eyes? (maybe not literally) Hands on our hips? What about the "I'm just going to look away." Does it ever change things? Maybe for a "soft" mother who can't bear to tell her child no. But for God? If we stand there, batting our eyelashes with a puppy dog face, uttering the words "please" fifteen times, do we expect Him to just give in? And how many times do we plea with him over and over, and in his silence say, "hello?"

Discipline isn't easy. But discipline is necessary. Embrace it. It's usually for your best interest.

The Rusty Toy Truck

Last Saturday I spent part of the afternoon with my son and nephew in tow. We took a little trip into Marysville, parked the car, grabbed some ice cream and took a little stroll.

We stopped into one of the many antique shops and looked around. I enjoy antiques. The last time I visited this particular store was probably about seven years ago when my grandparents came to visit. As we walked down the street, a memory consumed me. It was of my grandpa running as fast as his 80 year old legs would take him, down the street with my son. I remember Nick laughing and I remember the joy I felt as I watched the two of them. Nick in his youth and my grandpa displaying his in his own glory.

It is an amazingly sweet memory for me to have.

As I was looking around I couldn't help but think of how each item must have had its own little memory. The history behind each article of clothing, each picture on the wall, every dish that sat in the display case, every toy that lined the shelves. If only antiques could talk...

We stood and browsed through the toys. My nephew was checking out a car, Nick picked up a toy gun, and I had my eyes fixed on this rusty old metal Tonka pickup truck. It was only $21 and I'm sure nothing extremely "special," but I fell in love with it.

We walked through the rest of the store yet I couldn't get my thoughts off of that truck. Stopping back at the counter, I picked it up again, studied it, and then sat it back down.

We walked out of the store and to the river bottoms. The entire time I could not get that silly little truck out of my mind. Why did it fascinate me so?

I didn't go back and purchase it, although the thought crossed my mind (and still does). Who would have thought that a 1960-something toy pick-up truck would have such an impact on me and consume my thoughts?

I think that we all have our own little things that "fixate" us. This particular item that I found stirred up some emotions that are healthy for me to think about.

My life has a lot in common with that toy truck. Throughout my years I have placed it in the hands of people that have knowingly and unknowingly abused me. There have been times when I've felt left in the rain and my exterior has rusted as a result. I've had my share of moments in which I have felt abandoned and alone. Knocked around, run through the mud, and lost in the shuffle.

However, I am blessed to have also been nurtured and cared for. I have watched my life recover from being left in the rain, have (figuratively) gone through a "detail" and invested in a new paint job, so to speak. I cherish the moments that I have alone and rather than feeling abandoned I feel grateful. The times I feel knocked around, run through the mud and lost in the shuffle are generally moments in which I consider reality checks. Subtle hints to shift my focus on things that truly matter rather than dwelling on that which I can't control.

My life doesn't carry a price tag, such as that little truck. And unlike the joy of a little child unwrapping his gift and eventually losing interest in it, leaving it outside to be forgotten; I am loved, just as I am, forever.

No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.

-Joshua 1:5

When the Heart Dances

Have you ever had one of those moments when you've felt as though your heart has literally danced inside your chest? Every once in a while I have those moments.

...catching a glimpse of a beautiful sunset
...listening to my son giggle (yes, he still giggles)
...talking with an old friend


This week I have had some pretty incredible things happen.On Monday I was able to chat with a mom in the nursery at church. A fairly ordinary conversation that generated a ton of "hope." And hope...makes my heart dance more than anything!

That same night, I discovered that a family of four children from a recovery group live right around the corner from me. Cutest kids in the world. Last night as I was pulling around the corner to my house I noticed they were outside playing. I slowly drove past them, waved and continued on. I no sooner step out of my car and there was the second oldest boy, standing behind my car on his scooter with this huge grin as if to welcome me home. He hugged me and we chatted for a bit. Within moments of being inside the house I looked out the window to see three of the four standing out front, so I immediately rushed out to love on the others.

A few months ago, a co-worker of mine and his girlfriend were expecting the birth of their first child. I was excited for them and it was amazing to see and hear the excitement as they prepared for her arrival.

After being absent from work for a few days and not hearing from him, my joy of anticipating the news turned to fear that something was wrong. Finally, three days later a phone call came in. But rather than the tone of happiness coming from a first time father, I heard something else and it was more than mere exhaustion.

Delora Sunshine is what they named her and he gave me a summary of her weight and length, minor details of the labor and then as his voice began to crack, he shared the news of her being born with Down Syndrome. I sat on the phone with him for at least a half an hour as he worked through his emotions.

Throughout the pregnancy there was no indication that there was anything wrong with the baby. So now along with the newness of parenting, they instantly had to adjust to being the parents of a child with special needs.

He has an amazing heart and is a very wise individual. Immediately I knew, that if anyone could cope with this...it would be the two of them.

How can something so sad make my heart dance? Read on...

During the phone conversation with my co-worker, he had shared the first 24 hours of their journey with me. They questioned whether or not they were going to keep her or give her up for adoption. In his next breath he said, "But how messed up would that be?" He continued and said, "She chose us." Now at this point in time, I thought, 'Ok...you're getting close but I'm not yet going to bring up the fact that I believe God chose her for you.' The conversation continued and this was it: He said, "We've spoken to our midwives and they have encouraged us to get involved with a support group." (...I think I know where this is going...) "And that means we are more than likely going to need to find a church." Ta-da!!! Absolutely!!!

My heart danced.

In the weeks to follow, I was blessed to have the opportunity to view a slide show of pictures from Delora's birth. I say blessed, but there was a lot of unsettled emotion as I watched it. I can't imagine being in their shoes. Yet even though I can't imagine it...I am a firm believer that our God does not give us more than we can handle. And in the past few months I have witnessed two
non-believers step...rather leap into this whole new life with such strength and courage. And there is no greater proof that the Almighty exists than to see Him work in the life of someone like this. My heart dances!

So yesterday as I was catching up with my co-worker, he was telling me about the "demand" of Down Syndrome adoptions (sounds a little funny, I know), especially among Christians. He said that most of them believe that God brings them into the world for a reason (as opposed to the critical belief that they are born because of improper care during pregnancy). And that while some people don't feel they can handle raising a child with special needs, He places them in families that can. He mentioned that he's been told that God gave Delora to them for a purpose.

...Yes, he sure did! My heart began to do a little jig!

It was then that I mentioned how I feel in regards to my own spiritual growth. When I was pregnant with Nick it was out of wedlock and I could have easily been (and I'm sure I was) "looked down" upon by a lot of people. But even through my sin in this situation I have seen such a positive purpose for my circumstance. And I am blessed beyond measure.

To end our conversation, my co-worker looked at me and said, "Don't beat yourself up over it too much. Marisa and I had Delora out of wedlock too." I laughed hysterically...and as I walked out the door of my office to head home, my heart danced because he seems one step closer to allowing his heart to dance as well.

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song. -Psalm 28:7